This story is an intro into a section of writings about my youth. “Youth” is a relative issue. I used to think that ‘every one over 30 was suspected (to whom? of what? who knows?) or that there were those who were truly suspicious, or I was convinced of that when I was quite young.But that was way back then when the older could not be trusted, even though now that would include me. Though, even now with this cliched tip-toe amongst it’s egg shells of a concept; It’s a sad thought that our elders cannot be trusted, though even now after this reexamined cliche, it is quite true. There are those out there even among my own family members who are quite capable of deliberately blaming their own failures on others, or someone weaker than they are — just because they can. This is something I never realized, until recently – when that happened to me.
I remember Herbert Sauer, God rest his soul, who used to say, “you are not a senior citizen until you are ninety years old.” I’m not quite there yet, but I can sure see that roar of time rushing as I relate to the sound of the ticking clock, being sore in nearly every place in my body when I awaken each morning.
”Being Young” is an approach to life, not merely a certain state which is in comparison to old age. Keeping your mind open, without extreme preconceived notions seems to be the key to a long happy life…this may be a contrast to that sort of selfish, dangerous or malicious way of living, where some who see ‘differently’, and their mind reads out ’handicapped’ or “mentally challenged”; but there comes a point when a baby boomer realizes after a certain while he or she deserves an opinion through sheer life experience, if not education. And then there is the point when we are one of many in the same basket who celebrate the fact that we can be considered eccentric not insane. We are the functioning members of American society and we do not enjoy our so called fun being chastised for our mere existence, or so the bullys puff up their feathers for their own so called fun of being cruel. Is it better to be one who lives his or her lives in constant fear? What might “be smart” in some ways, is not always the best way to live. To be protected completely, or deliberately in pain is simply a state of ignorance, even stupidity if medical technology has advanced enough to relieve most of the pain and fear but then chooses to live in anger and repressed frustration and hatred. What a waste of time. That leaves the geezer a life that is miserable, filled with eternal guilt, and repressed or constant expressed or repressed anger to say nothing of immobility. Who needs that? Even if a person is innocent of vile intent, if you are percieved as different you tend to act as you are defined by others.This is something you must fight with all your hopes and dreams with which you are left, as you will be pigion holed in a label you do not deserve. Sometimes a true investigation of one’s own ethics and integrity is in order. It is said the unexamined life is not worth living. But cannot we get lost in our own self examination, ending up taking pictures and seeing to other peoples’ comfort and ideas, or spending our time convincing ourselves we have no power to be happy, instead of living our own lives as best we can.
But we must be able to enjoy our lives as well as simply live them. Laughter can still rate a close second in pain relief. Just be sure you are laughing with someone and not at someone. There is a difference. To keep the brain inspired is as important as keeping the body moving. Finding something to do with our time that is goal oriented can be so very rewarding. Like writing a Blog, or keeping a journal (the kind that are “low teck”, which require pencils and tablets are always good). Keeping our memories private and personal are important to ourselves as well as to future generations, just as oral History is as important as anything read in a book…sometimes more. Some people prefere to play serious games (not evil mind games) but Chess and Bridge and Poker can be extremely entertaining and fill up the time, just as writing on this computer can suck up the time. Play a really good game on your computer. The important thing is to enjoy your self what ever your age, and to experience laughter, victory and achievement, which is now possible even if I was in a wheel chair, that I thankfully I am not. I am incouraged that people still read my writings and that I have some new songs I have written (oh by the way all of the MP3′s were composed and the lyric’s written by Caroline Abbitt Sauer not an unknown Artist), my husband played bass, harmonica and sometimes mandolin and back up vocals, but the production was designed by me too. We’re missing our Golden years, it’s not too late to get them back; we don’t need to” buy the stairway to heaven”, it’s already been done. Take it with some humour, I’m not the only old lady with this problem. It is this quality time Not spent together that fades away a loving relationship. That and those suspicious duplicitous idiots who think they’ve got it made with their own singularly religious choices, and who promote the reality that sticks and stones don’t break your hearts. Learn to laugh. You used to know how.
Ever, Caroline Abbitt Sauer aka Kay Buena
P.S. Listen, then try to have empathy, some times that makes a world of difference for a lasting and loving relationship.
(This is a simple reality check: does your printer or monitor see this type face as grey on white? If you don’t percieve grey, you need to start thinking. yes it’s there this time. No Black and white.)
Next post: Foxie & Betty Jane join Riker to defeat the marauding Texas fire ants outside my house.