{"id":26,"date":"2007-10-26T22:22:48","date_gmt":"2007-10-27T03:22:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kaybuena.com\/blog\/?p=26"},"modified":"2007-10-26T22:22:48","modified_gmt":"2007-10-27T03:22:48","slug":"tribute-to-bill-ducker-gone-but-never-forgotten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/tribute-to-bill-ducker-gone-but-never-forgotten\/","title":{"rendered":"Tribute to Bill Ducker, Gone but Never Forgotten"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I first became acquainted with Mr. Bill Ducker back in the early 70’s when times were not exactly prosperous or even ironically amusing for me and his then girl friend (later to become his wife), Claire.\u00a0 We were House mates at the time.\u00a0 She had divorced her husband and had three very small daughters, complete with the complications of\u00a0a tug of war custody problem, as her husband lived out of town and was known to be less than cordial upon occasion.\u00a0\u00a0At\u00a0that time\u00a0I was in the process of getting a divorce\u00a0from my first husband, who did\u00a0live in town\u00a0(Austin, Texas) having a rather cozy little rat hole for\u00a0sleeping and more or less existing in the style to which he wanted to become accustomed,\u00a0in the loft he was renting\u00a0where he was building his sailboat to head out to sea.\u00a0\u00a0Although my\u00a0ex-husband was in the process of selling the property\u00a0we used to share, as who needs a home when the open sea called? (I’ve heard of long distanced relation ships<\/em>, but the one he was building had no room for two: it was about 20 ft. long.) But for a time\u00a0the lovely little\u00a0cottage my ex-husband and I used to share\u00a0became\u00a0a refuge from homelessness for Claire and I, and I was very glad, indeed, for her company.\u00a0 I had been working at the Infernal Revenue Service after college (not that\u00a0my BFA in visual arts did any good in this job, or any\u00a0other\u00a0I could find at that time.) But\u00a0the IRS\u00a0offered more money for time spent than anything I could find, so I stayed\u00a0in that job\u00a0for 3 & 1\/2 years.\u00a0 The artist in me was beginning to disappear, strangely enough I\u00a0had just received a promotion.\u00a0 But\u00a0when they handed me a book of tax law -the size of the Webster’s Complete\u00a0Unabridged Dictionary to peruse, I realized the seriousness of my predicament; I was starting to become one of “them.”\u00a0 So in a sudden splendorous satori, I\u00a0decided to quit.\u00a0 And as there\u00a0is only so much room in the brain for memories, I didn’t want my head full of facts from that book, when I was supposed to be an “Ortist,”\u00a0searching for truth and beauty. So I walked very quickly and deliberately into the personnel office and said:\u00a0“I’m leaving in five minutes, what do I need to sign?” \u00a0This was before my 1st husband began with the ‘yo, ho, ho’s and a bottle of rum’ scenario.\u00a0So the ‘Ortist\u00a0‘ in me overcame the oppressive government job, but as the days went by, I began to realize that not only was I losing a husband, but gaining true independence, though continuing in my quest for truth and beauty aside,\u00a0I was (whoops)\u00a0unemployed.\u00a0 So I started singing and playing my big old Martin D-21 on Guadalupe, or the “drag” as it’s called,the street that ran right in front of the University of Texas — well traveled with all sorts of people who might contribute to my empty guitar case\u00a0with spare change.\u00a0 Which wasn’t too bad a thing to do with my time, and it required no government ID to wear like an albatross around my neck.\u00a0 The money wasn’t as constant, but I was frugal and funny and young, ( the kind of young, when you never think or see danger, even when it’s standing right there in front of you.)\u00a0 Claire, being a mother and a lot wiser to the ways of the world, to say nothing of having a profession that paid money (she had a masters degree in Speech Therapy)was a superlative ‘reality-checker’ for sure when need be.\u00a0 Someone with this talent was greatly needed,\u00a0and so in her own way said something to the\u00a0affect of:\u00a0“So what now, brown cow?”\u00a0Which was a concept pondered not often enough,\u00a0if ever, to a very naive and now single (for the most part) female composer of “Outlandish Outlaw-Country” songs… well, it was becoming a hassle to pay the electric bill with rolls of quarters.\u00a0 Fortunately, my ex-husband left me a legacy of hundreds of returnable\u00a0Lone Star Beer long neck bottles, that I began taking back to the distributors for the cash refund. See, there is the silver lining in that cloud too.\u00a0 But it was raining all the time, so I stayed indoors and practiced\u00a0my routine and continued the Street Singing, and began to play clubs when I had the nerve. \u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Any way, it was around that time that she and Bill Ducker became close friends and then lovers, so he was a constant visitor to our abode.\u00a0 We would sit around my antique round table and drink coffee, or whatever, and talk or sing or play the guitar (Bill was an excellent classical guitarist, but also was a master of obscene ditty which he sang with great dignity, as Claire and I rolled on the floor laughing), and\u00a0I played my own songs or old country songs or blues. So many a hour was spent in intense, silly, and sometimes\u00a0serious musical study\u00a0with seemingly\u00a0endless\u00a0conversation by the group ( that expanded…) and became the official meetings of the\u00a0“Ne’er do Wells.” I would give anything for even a few minutes around that table again with such close and highly interesting friends.\u00a0 At that time I did not realize how this marvelous shared creativity and companionship would soon fade away\u00a0into only memories long past, as we all\u00a0went our separate paths.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bill was a wonderful teller of stories and jokes.\u00a0He had the most elegant way of\u00a0speaking English even in his youth back then, interspersed with his own special colorful cursing he obtained while in the Army.\u00a0 Bill enlisted in the Army, when these were the times when all young men his age\u00a0where destined to Vietnam, if drafted.\u00a0 After the Army he attended law School at the University of Texas until threatened with graduation.\u00a0 \u00a0But he realized he liked every thing about the study of Law, but being a lawyer.\u00a0 So\u00a0on this particular professional path,\u00a0 he was waylaid by ethics, always somewhat of a problem in finding one’s calling. So the legal biz, regardless of how interesting, would not be his way… I think he saw lawyers at that time to be a bunch of “silly\u00a0bastards who were really professional liars,” most having no\u00a0acquaintance with ethics, but masters of twisting logic into their own desired direction and shape.\u00a0\u00a0So he dropped out,\u00a0finding various odd (and I do mean odd) jobs, keeping us regularly informed at the Ne’er Do Well meetings,\u00a0until he became the manager of a large apartment complex, with apartment included and a small salary, which was perfect for him with his military background and eloquent language\u00a0skills.\u00a0 Not to mention he was absolutely huge, not\u00a0just wide, but very tall as well.\u00a0In the early 70’s he also sported a military haircut, which was\u00a0quite a \u00a0rare thing\u00a0for a man of his age in those times, as you can imagine.\u00a0If you did not know him, as he was a true gentleman and scholar in every way,\u00a0he was able to appear to be\u00a0a rather frightening person to confront in those days, no question about it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Now, as I have bored you all to the bone with how I grew up a military brat, etc. remember that\u00a0my Dad was an Officer, not an Enlisted-man.\u00a0 Where as Bill enlisted during the\u00a0Vietnam\u00a0War, as in doing so he could pick where he wanted to be stationed, also his talent for languages (in this case Russian) lead him to Germany, where he listened to the Ruskies (no offence meant to those of Russian extraction)\u00a0over the radio waves for Army Intelligence. (Remember that this was in the days of the cold\u00a0war)\u00a0Although some people would question Army Intelligence as a conundrum,\u00a0Bill Ducker was one, if not the most intelligent person I ever knew, and I have met in passing, (as my father’s daughter) some famous and quite well established,\u00a0brilliant\u00a0scientists, but none were as well rounded in their knowledge as Bill seemed to me, through out the 30 some years I knew him.\u00a0 His stories of his army experiences as an Enlisted-man always fascinated me, as what I knew of the service was from a much different perspective and experience.\u00a0 My father graduated from VMI in 1941 (before the US was officially part of WWII) and at that time, before he had much of a chance to sit around a table with friends and Ne’er Do Well as did I, he was sent into the infantry but managed to be\u00a0assigned\u00a0to\u00a0what was at that time the RAF, and then the Army Air Force when the USA was officially at war. His college degree in Electrical Engineering, native intelligence (and I’m sure his\u00a0charm and authoritative, aristocratic good looks) lead him into many unique opportunities as an Air Force Officer, he was the lead navigator in the biggest air strike in WWII (and this was done in very poor weather with no GPS)\u00a0and was assigned to work on the development of Radar, at MIT (very interesting I’m sure and a lot safer than Germany or France)\u00a0and after the war he continued his career in the Air Force, involved\u00a0from \u00a0the very first of\u00a0the Project Mercury, or getting that first man in Space.\u00a0 Let’s just say, he never had to do K.P. or be belittled by an Officer, as in quite the same way an Enlisted-person was likely to be.\u00a0 However, the Military never was known to be a democracy by it’s very nature, as all soldiers follow the\u00a0orders of their superiors, as\u00a0their very\u00a0lives depend on that, but a solder took\u00a0his moments of personal\u00a0victory\u00a0where\u00a0and how, a soldier could.\u00a0 Which brings me to one of Bill Ducker’s better\u00a0stories of life as an enlisted person in the Army.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bill told how his much revered Master Sargent and a particular snooty Officer clashed many times over trivial matters, and as the Officer was never to be angered by disagreement, or\u00a0shown any form of disrespect from\u00a0 a non com (serious business, the rank and file system in the\u00a0Service).\u00a0His Master Sargent developed a plan that was sure to work with a passable one-up-man-ship, to say nothing of grossing the Officer out, which he clearly had coming\u00a0karmic-ly.\u00a0 When “inspection time” was carried out, this Officer was always greatly displeased with the quality of cleanliness in the toilet area.\u00a0 And, for all practical purposes rightfully so … But for this one particular time his Master Sargent assigned a newbie to sanitize\u00a0a particular toilet (one of many).\u00a0 It was first to be scrubbed down with soap\u00a0and disinfected with Clorox, then rinsed with fresh water on the exterior.\u00a0It was then to be drained of it’s water and thoroughly wiped inside and out with rubbing alcohol,\u00a0\u00a0then filled with fresh water\u00a0and\u00a0finally put back to look usable, but forbidden for any of his soldiers to touch.\u00a0 As his troops were greatly curious as to his intentions, but suspected a set up …\u00a0all were united in looking forward to the next inspection,\u00a0 and they\u00a0followed the order that\u00a0the one toilet be left untouched and began to prepare for this event.\u00a0 As per usual, when the Officer and the Master Sargent entered the ‘throne room’, the Officer complained of the unacceptable conditions.\u00a0 So the Master Sargent approaches the aforementioned toilet, lifts the lid, and rubs his index finger around the top of the toilet bowl then proceeds to put said finger in his mouth, reporting, “Well it tastes OK to me, Sir.” Naturally, all Soldiers remained at attention with serious\u00a0expressions.\u00a0 The Officer turned red in the face but made no further comment, although there was a report of his active gag reflex.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That particular story was one of so many, and probably less than ideal the way that I told it, but Bill had a way of making the most mundane happenings seem extraordinary, because of his eloquence, and wonderful sense of humor which he never lost.\u00a0 He converted to the Anglican Church and became a true Christian in the 1980’s, which added to his accomplishments, as well as to his wisdom.\u00a0 He would always have the best and most truly obscene jokes to tell in his wonderful style all through our association.\u00a0 I must say, I feared that his conversion would chop that off, but he continued to set most of his many friends into fits of laughter with his jokes. As they spread, he became legendary.\u00a0 If he thought of some really strange and funny idea, or expressed some thought of a questionable nature, he often simply followed his statement with “of course, our dear Lord Jesus would not do so, however…”<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Actually, if it had not been for Bill Ducker’s encouragement, I would have never gone to Westchester, New\u00a0York\u00a0to be with\u00a0Charles Sauer, my husband of\u00a0 30 years now.\u00a0 Although Charles and I were clearly ‘in love’ at that time in my life, when a decision needed to be made, I was reluctant to trust anyone after my first marriage, and felt weighted down by family and possessions.\u00a0 Bill pointed out how easy it would be to have all my furniture and other stuff put in storage, by calling a company that did this in my presence.\u00a0 He then pointed out how\u00a0I was truly\u00a0clinically depressed, that all I really looked forward to were Charles nightly phone calls.\u00a0He also made the comment that I was the one who\u00a0had to take action to change my life.\u00a0 \u00a0(I think, frankly, my situation was becoming a pain in the ass for the whole Ne’er Do Well membership.)\u00a0 But he was the person with the moxie to say this to me. And he even drove me to the airport for my flight.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bill Ducker gave me the solution to a terrible problem I was having when my daughter was in High School.\u00a0\u00a0 The little idiot was chronically skipping school, and refused to think finishing high school was a must.\u00a0 He explained that High School in those days and times probably\u00a0did suck, and that no one would want to be a part of that.\u00a0 However, she would be greatly impaired if she didn’t get her diploma,\u00a0so she\u00a0just had to go through with it. Then\u00a0he gave me the formula for her success in this venture, which I followed to the letter:\u00a0 I told her that, if she skipped even one class, I<\/strong> was going WITH HER <\/strong>to every one of her classes to see that she went.\u00a0 Actually, this sounded like a decent solution, and I really looked forward to her trying my patience on this issue.\u00a0\u00a0 But she found the whole idea of my accompanying her to class so deplorable,\u00a0that she did attend her high school classes from that day on, and\u00a0this I know to be the case, as I called the poor troubled person in charge of attendance every afternoon, to see if she had attended all classes.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When I went through the last two serious joint replacement surgeries, Claire,\u00a0and\/or Bill and Claire came to visit me in the hospital.\u00a0 The last being my knee replacement surgery, which was quite serious and agonizing.\u00a0Bill and Claire held hands with me and prayed in a\u00a0 such a beautiful manner that lifted my spirits,\u00a0in a way\u00a0I had never experienced before.\u00a0The caring and true friendship they offered me that day was a gift\u00a0I will always remember.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bill Ducker affected so many people in a positive way that I am humbled and so grateful\u00a0\u00a0that he continued to be my friend until his death on October 13, 2007.\u00a0 Bill had some serious health conditions (diabetes, as well as two heart surgeries), and tended to be overweight (another problem we shared), and although he certainly was disciplined in getting physical exercise (he loved to go long distance biking), and had even organized a biking group (largely he and his daughter, Eleanor) of which he began to write weekly hilarious ‘training reports’ sent via email,\u00a0which I keep looking to appear in my “inbox” again, but alas that will not happen.\u00a0Eleanor, who I’ve known since she was about 3 years old, was riding behind him the day of his death, when he suffered a 2nd massive heart attack.\u00a0 She said “it was as though the lights just went out in there and he fell over.”\u00a0 She called the EMS and he was rushed to the hospital but never regained consciousness. The world is a much better place because you were here, Bill.\u00a0\u00a0 And you will be here in the hearts\u00a0 and memories of so many friends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I first became acquainted with Mr. Bill Ducker back in the early 70’s when times were not exactly prosperous or even ironically amusing for me and his then girl friend (later to become his wife), Claire.\u00a0 We were House mates at the time.\u00a0 She had divorced her husband and had three very small daughters, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8R4qt-q","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16,"url":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/there-is-nothing-quite-like-staring-into-the-eyes-of-a-shaking-rifle\/","url_meta":{"origin":26,"position":0},"title":"There Is Nothing quite Like Staring into the Eyes of a Shaking Rifle.","author":"Kay Buena","date":"September 3, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Back when I was a kid ( about 26) I had a unique experience with\u00a0the County Sherrif's officers that gave me a rather grey look into the black and white letters of the law.\u00a0 I was a serious Ballet student, and had just come home from my 2 &\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18,"url":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/pianos-i-have-known-and-loved\/","url_meta":{"origin":26,"position":1},"title":"Piano's I Have Known and Loved","author":"Kay Buena","date":"September 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometime between the age of 2 and 4 years old, my parents got me a toy piano.\u00a0 It was white and shaped like a baby grand, but only had two octaves (from\u00a0 G below middle C---to G above middle C).\u00a0 I thought this was the most wonderful thing, although thinking\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":192,"url":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/the-re-appearence-of-the-most-surprising-entity-the-new-improved-betty-jane-childhood-companion-of-ms-buena\/","url_meta":{"origin":26,"position":2},"title":"6. The re-appearence of the most surprising entity: The New Improved "Betty Jane" (Childhood companion of Ms. Buena)","author":"","date":"March 5, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0\u00a0 We were involved in our usual drama of\u00a0 a personal nature, when out of that where in no-where\u00a0 re-enters my strangely intriguing\u00a0 main character once again, Ms. Betty Jane Abbitt.\u00a0 So she's a doll.\u00a0 Get over it.\u00a0 So I'm over 60.\u00a0 Get over that too.\u00a0 This sort of silliness\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "(The) Betty Jane Chronicles"","block_context":{"text":"(The) Betty Jane Chronicles","link":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/category\/the-betty-jane-chronicles\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Betty Jane Mug Shot","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kaybuena.com\/images\/tn20080929BettyJaneIMG_1023.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":404,"url":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/dont-you-hate-that-added-3rd-party-existention-well-so-did-bettyjane\/","url_meta":{"origin":26,"position":3},"title":"11. Don’t you hate that added 3rd party existention?…Well so did BettyJane","author":"KayBuena","date":"May 11, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When we first encountered my very favorite childhood doll, Betty Jane, she had been missing from the household for some time, approximently 55 years.\u00a0 Thou she had been carefully attended to by my mother, untill my parents moved to Salado, Texas.\u00a0 I truely became reaquaninted with Betty Jane, after\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "(The) Betty Jane Chronicles"","block_context":{"text":"(The) Betty Jane Chronicles","link":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/category\/the-betty-jane-chronicles\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40,"url":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/that-silver-haired-however-its-mostly-dark-brown-daddy-of-mine\/","url_meta":{"origin":26,"position":4},"title":"That Silver haired (however it’s mostly Dark Brown) Daddy of Mine","author":"Kay Buena","date":"June 15, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Today, being father's day, it only seems appropriate that I tell you fine folks a bit (pun) about my Dad, Col. Charles Webb Abbitt (U.S.A.F.(ret.)),\u00a0who has always amazed me in many ways: How could a person, regardless of age and other factors, be so gol darned disciplined about actually doing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Truly Strange and Unusual Adventures of Kay Buena's Youth"","block_context":{"text":"The Truly Strange and Unusual Adventures of Kay Buena's Youth","link":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/category\/true-and-unusual-stories\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"YouTube of That Silver Haired Daddy of Mine","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.ytimg.com\/vi\/SDx-vqRBQNY\/default.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":35,"url":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/im-getting-a-tad-sick-of-this-maudlin-kiddie-crapbring-back-the-snoop-dogg\/","url_meta":{"origin":26,"position":5},"title":"Bring Back the Snoop Dogg Picture; it's a total Winner, if I do say myself.","author":"Kay Buena","date":"April 18, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Song of the Day: \"Moon Rise \" Lyrics, Music,Vocal, Rhythm Guitar, Slide\/Country-Slack Key Guitar: Kay Buena (AKA) Caroline Abbitt Sauer:- Bass Guitar, Recording Engineer: Dr. Charles Sauer,(PHd.comp.sci.):- Drums: The Honerable Jerry Barnett. Recorded back in 1986(?) \u00a0Oh, great swami of the computer Empire of the network here, please bring back\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Art"","block_context":{"text":"Art","link":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/category\/art\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Snoop Dogg","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kaybuena.com\/images\/tn20080124SnoopDogg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.kaybuena.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}