14. What Really Happened to Kay Buena, her Doll, Betty Jane and “Data”, the Action Figure:
When last we left our characters, they were seemingly in a weird situation. Betty Jane had been put in her box, with her new hairdo and outfit, one most unacceptable for out door cavorting, and Kay Buena was feeling rather old and crippled up and stodgy. Elmo as usual, had no problems and continued his post at the window, where the bad birds and squirrels came and went with great gusto.
What was really odd beyond belief, was what really happened to that mail truck, Mr. Miller and Data. As you may recall Data (the action figure) was in full Sherlock Holmes costume and rarely broke character. That is, until he seemingly destroyed the “Borg-like” approaching mail truck, which Holmes would probably not have attempted. After relocating him to our mantel and questioning him for some time, it became clear that Data was really his evil twin, Lor! For Star Trek fans this is not an oddity, in that in various episodes of the TV show, Lor would show up and become vile and nefarious. His evil ways adding to the plot in dissonance,always fun for the writers. This had to be the explanation, it was Lor and not Data of course…- in that Data is Data and we all know how that is (As in “we have plenty of data, yet little information.”) As it turns out the mail truck was not destroyed after all. And it was some teenager’s doing. Two teen aged girls were seen fleeing from the tyranny of suburban life into someone’s backyard and into the forrest behind the street parallel to our street. The missing mail truck was backed into one of these “mouse mausoleums”, the given style of our neighborhood’s mail boxes, rectangular edifices with an opening on the side of the street, where the mail person conveniently fills with letters, bills, catalogues and other snail mail goodies. I remember when we built the house some 18 years ago, I suggested that we make the mail box 1′ by 4′ by 9′. But the builder had never seen Stanley Kubruck’s 2001. I am in digression again, but that’s a common problem, especially with the attempt to entertain in a blog.
The back of the mail truck looked as smashed as roadkill. And Some of the mail had escaped in the wind. The particular mail box-edifice of the residence where the girls had swerved into while commandeering the mail truck had collided with same in a most un-seemly way. There was now just a super smashed-sideways mail box and a large pile of bricks where once stood the house’s matching mail station. The mail truck was still running with the keys still inside, when the resident came home from work. He called the post office and Mr.Miller and his mail truck were once again reunited. Which just goes to show that these strange stories sometimes have a rational ending.
Betty Jane, Kay Buena, Data (or Lor?),and Elmo had a tendency to get the wrong impression about some everyday occurrences. Personally, I liked the other ending where Lor used his phaser, but that’s just me. And if I don’t watch out, they might put me in a box with the acid free tissue paper like was done with my 58 year old doll, Betty Jane as she was unfairly blamed for the chaos of the missing mail truck. Along with her general trouble making, her eternal rubber band was beginning to stretch to the point where she was having trouble sitting up or standing. And speaking of coincidental metaphorical situations, that sounds more and more like my symptoms.
So, untill the occassion calls for an “out there” blogger, I”ll put the whole crew on another endeavor, like producing some funky rock and roll, or country music. Heck, All I have going for me really is a wild imagination and a Texas Accent, not that that is a bad thing, as you know.